Daily Goo: Kim Jong is still a dick and other jazz

(Those sun glasses cost thousands of North Korean childrens tears)

-U.S wants Korea to quit acting like a fucking whiny kid. [BBC]

-Popular guides to shit you'll probably never get off your ass and do, but it's still cool to read about the idea and tell all your friends you'll probably do it someday. Right after you start going to the gym. [Gizmodo]

-WikiLeaks still getting fisted, by everyone. [Max PC]

-Which U.S national team soccer players will go to January's camp? Probably not anyone good, it's the U.S. Such is our fate. [Soccer By Ives]

Giz says win a portrait

It's just like that time your neighbor offered to take snap shots of you as a teenager for your budding modeling career that never happened, almost. Gizmodo contest, join them on Facebook and you're entered to win your profile picture painted, mine is above for reference. Yours probably won't turn out as good, but you can always hope for it right? I doubt anyone reads this shit anyway.

"Hey Ted, I have an idea to make money that isn't fucking retarded."

Some genius (see above) decided it would be a good idea to work out while in the office, absolute awesomeness occurs there after. Just watch the video. FUCKING MILITARY PRESS BRO.

"Yeah sure, come on over. Bring chicks."

Besides that fact that this story is a true Fletcher Reede (Liar Liar reference, watch more movies) it's still awesome. TCU must bring women (like those above). Right? Like that time you and all your friends went out to rage in that local bar and only you and the kid from high school you never talked to showed up and it was awkward until you guys got drunk and embraced. Someone make that a movie. Yeah.

New Life Ambition: Be these men.

It comes as no surprise this story I read is pretty much just about a bunch of drunk people through out history. How they managed to somehow do something with their lives while being alcoholics gives us all a chance of hope right? WRONG, we're all still fucked. Hey don't frown about it, not everyone can be Gandhi.

Say It Isn't So: No Potter 3D

I guess you won't be able to see the new HP movie in 3d as its gone the way of Richard Harris and the character he played (Spoiler: they both died). This really puts the kabash on me and my pals dressing up and acting like we were actually walking around Hogwarts. Who's still down for some role playing? "Engorgio!" Amirite?!

My Future Wife: The Alien Lady?

My betrothed (pictured above) has recently been linked to the next Alien Prequel movie. Which is cool, cause I'd totally convert to Judaism for her.